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Shufflingdead > Articles > Dating
The sport of people with death wishes.
Due to the fact that I have never been on a date, it is obviously something I wish did not exist. I think it is an invention of horrible, arrogant people. People who are trying discourage anyone who does not devote their entire life to finding a mate, from ever getting one.
Finding a target
As I told one avid reader of my site:
"you should contact random people from your school, talk to them about the occasional thing you have in common. Then, when they least expect it, invite them to a movie."
All I know is that ICQ is where to do this.
ICQ
Never talk to a female who contacts you. Especially if the very first thing she says is:
"got a pic?"
Put her immediately on the ol' ignore list.
ICQ is for meeting people, and talking to people you would never talk to in real life. It's much easier to say what you want when hiding behind a computer. However, it must only be used to talk to a person and getting to know them. NEVER should you ask someone out over ICQ, and if you're going to ask them out on a date over ICQ, make sure you both know it's a date. History shows us that if you ask a girl out to a movie as a friend, she'll assume it's a date, and asking them out on a date will seem like your hanging out as friends.
The problem is, it is impossible to express emotion through chatting alone. ICQ is only the first step. After that, horror of horrors, you have to talk to them in real life.
Casual Conversations
Perhaps one of the biggest obstacles to overcome initially is talking to females. I will admit that this is an integral part to finding a "chick". The key here is to consume massive amounts of alcohol before you first talk to your target face to face. Since, quite often, the "first time" is at school, drinking is not a good idea. Eventually, the foolish side of you will win through and you will find yourself talking to a lovely young lady.
Now, while talking to her, KEEP YOUR HANDS TO YOURSELF! Don't put them in your pockets either. Don't rub your hands together as if you are plotting to blow up the world. Simply leave them at your sides. Sew them down if you have to.
Compliments are always welcome, just don't compliment her physique. One other thing, don't just say "hi" to her and then leave her and her friends to talk amongst themselves. This leads to a disintegration of whatever progress made thus far.
Trouble Shooting
It seems that simply following these easy to remember suggestions is not enough. If, for some unforeseen reason, a girl agrees to go on a date with you and then can't, she will refuse to ever go out with you again. She will say things like "I thought you were just kidding about that" or "yeah, I wanted to go with you, back then" THIS IS THE END! She obviously believes that since you didn't go out when you initially were going to, you were not meant to go out, ever. If this occurs, it means it is time to move on, think of another hot girl from your school, find her on ICQ and don't make the same mistakes again.
Who does Newby "like"?
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