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Shufflingdead > Articles > Fun
Am I... gulp... Normal?
Well well well, I now understand why all the "cool kids" have orgies for parties. You see, I recently attended a party that slowly degenerated into one. I know, all you fellow creepy bastards want to know just how to do it, right? I'll tell you!
It really doesn't matter who comes to your party, as long as there is a fairly equal male to female ratio. One would assume you'd need loose girls and outgoing guys, but that is most certainly not the case. All you need is whipped cream, the game Twister, and hormones.
Don't simply strip down as soon as people arrive at your house and think you're about to "get lucky." That won't work; it has to be a slow process, where you wear down the frigid females until they crack. It's not hard to crack one, just show the young lady a little lesbian porn, maybe "dance" for her and she'll be on you like Grandpa on a toaster! Ride 'em cowboy!
Regular conversation and human interaction will not work if you're looking to create a sex pit. You have to play games that involve physical interaction. Start off slow, that's what Twister is for. After that, move on to the more hard core stuff. Turn down the lights, introduce a spinning contraption and suggest the old stand by, Truth or Dare. Sure, your parents played it but it still works for "scoring." Dare the ladies to make out with you, strip, eat whipped cream off your 90 pound weakling frame or whatever other freaky things you want, they'll do it. Never, under any circumstances choose truth when it's your turn. It just makes you sound creepy to talk about "relieving yourself" and cartoon characters especially when combining the two.
So you're finally locked in a broom closet, clothes soaked in sweat and blood, half naked with your lady... DAMN IT!!!11 I have no frigging clue what comes next.
Umm, I'm going to go do some research on the internet pertaining to that whole "what comes next" thing. I'll get back to you after I'm done thinking about Nurse Joy.
Old ways to have fun.
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