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Shufflingdead > Articles > Fun
Tune up Your Speakers Ladies!
Ahh, having fun. Often associated with the people of earth, having fun is something that has been partaken in for a many a decade. I have previously described several other forms of fun to you, my dear reader, but today is a step forward in my writing skills. I am sworn to secrecy regarding all of the things I am not about to divulge, which is why I will be using a set of code words in place of more revealing words:
- fuck - today I will be using the word "type"
- any word that means tits - today it's "speakers"
- a gentleman’s cock - for this article only, it's "mouse"
- a ladies pussy - "hand"
- porn - "text"
If you are an angsty person between the ages of 13 and 19, then you are an "angsty teen." Forced to endlessly discuss how much your life sucks, how horrible the world is and how you are the victim of a society gone wrong. Experimentation is a necessity for all those who belong to this category. It is a way to escape the hellish world where other people pay for everything for you, and serve you food on a whim. Done properly, experimentation is fun
Experimintation should begin at the dawn of puberty. Males are recommended to rub their mouses whenever they please, particularly when viewing text. Females should take a few fingers and place them gently in their hand. Perhaps the biggest problem with experimentation is that it's only experimenting the first few times you try something. This is why you must quickly move on to more hard core activities.
 | The ol' "gang" is always up for some sexual exploration! |
As you advance in aging, your body will slow down in the number of new places you grow hair and you are now free to try out some illegal substances. At this point, you should be well under legal drinking age which is why you need to loiter outside the liquor mart for hours every day. Alcohol is gotten only by showing older men your speakers ladies. Turn your speakers up all the way and make sure the on button is sticking out as far as possible. If you're a gentleman, just be sure to keep a large pet mouse with you at all times. It comes in handy when you're trying to convince your elderly English teacher to buy you some drunkening tools. Of course, alcohol does become legal eventually which means you really ought to try those drugs which are always illegal. "Pot" is a favorite amongst the youth today. If that isn't your thing, just get whatever it is your friendly neighborhood dealer recommends
 | Dueling canes are perfect for solving a gentleman’s quarrel! |
Sexual boredom is likely to be your next problem as you age like a fine wine, only to be thrown up by some wealthy drunkards. After that whole rubbing of the mouse and hand becomes boring, you really should find someone else to share the good times with. Often, a permanent laborer to fulfill this task is unavailable which means you must gather all of your other single friends together and invite them to spend some time with you in a form of transportation. A train or plane perhaps. Constant discussion of typing and being open about such things as text should put everyone in an interesting mood. A mood conducive to showing off your speakers or maybe even ramming your mouse into some snow.
Just a few short years later you will have grown a handlebar mustache and purchased a fine, hand crafted dueling cane. As your final act of sexual exploration you must take a stroll down the neighborhood, sporting your fine piece of craftsmanship. What was that? You think that was some sort of sexual innuendo? Pervert!
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