If there is a single defining moment in every persons life that at which they know they're growing up, it's when they become a super villain in the Russian mob and have to deal with meddling spies of a secret spy organization, sometimes, but not always, based in merry old England.
A spy is Born
I am the evil super villain Newbius Maximus, up until recently I was head of the Russian mob and made billions of dollars from illegally running a cheap ass satire website, then I was tracked down by the super spy known only as RG. Here now is the account of RG.
RG was but a normal high school student, maybe a little obsessed with pleasuring himself, but more or less sort of, kind of normal. Then he suddenly got the idea to put on a suit and hunt down a woman, first he tried the blond type:
Then he decided to "poke around" with the black dress type:
In the end though, it was the blond who captured his snazzy suit wearing heart:
As all women are evil, she soon tricked him into joining Her Majesties Secret Service. The agency which protects all of Britain from terrorism and is responsible for the Queen's safety is pictured, in its entirety, here:
The Infiltration
The spies first task was to infiltrate my Russian mob and steal away all our beautiful cash. (From left to right: the cliched chick gangs keep around for eye candy , Mr. Bob, DMUSER, and myself)
As soon as the spies came in we all tried to look as innocent as possible:
In an attempt to trick the spies into thinking we really were just a bunch of random "kids" we did some ABSOLUTELY NO UNDERAGE drinking with him:
We thought it might have worked so we kept up the little show by having an orgy (I just might be naked under there):
The End of the Road
Unfortunately the spies knew just who we were the whole time and that very morning put us under arrest.
"Mwhaha I know who you are, now surrender or I'll shoot you with my insane Goldeneye Laser Eyes"
"OH GOD NO! NOOOOO! I surrender, I surrender!"
And so, in the end I still manage to run this cheap ass satire website, but alas, I no longer make billions of dollars.
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