The Sad Sad Tale of 00Baby (Double Oh-Baby)

Unbeknownst to many, I am a spy. For this investigation, I had to infiltrate Bev Facey High. As a recent graduate from Salisbury, It was my sworn duty to get the "doodie" on this freakish hellhole of upgrading my grade 12 marks...

First things first: I had to play it cool. So I joined an art class, so I could fit in. Little did I know I had made an enemy already. It was up to me to find out who had stolen Sal's championships year after year, and soon very soon I found out why...

After catching a sleeping guard on duty I noticed that the art on the wall had a cryptic message. It said "Use the for---". I knew then and there that the message was sabotaged so I couldn't reveal the mystery of Facey's steroid ridden athletes...

So I looked at the security camera and told it to fuck off. It was the only thing I could think of at the time. Oooh I look pissed off.

More and more spies came to spy on me. Look at these two. Acting all calm and cool and collected. Pfft, they don't fool me for a minute. Wankers...

Then they sent out the super scary smiley spies. The bright yellow sweater blinded me partially and sent me into a spinning oblivion of retina surgery. Youch.

Then they sent out a clone, and another decoy. This was really starting to throw me off. Look they try to look happy in order to give me the illusion of "having a good time at school, education is fun, everyone else is doing it."

* Bam * I was transported back into the art room where I was attacked by a spiky punk, who threw her collar at me. I suffered major puncture wounds and after patching myself up, went back for more. I'm a sucker for torture...

And then this chap showed up. He looked all innocent and nice but then...

He jabbed me with some sort of jabby tool. After he told me the real truth about facey. You see, Facey was a school for indoctrination of the youth, the sports propaganda and free steroid lunches every day were to help support the athletes, which is why the art department never had any cool supplies. They were secretly training the youths to overthrow the world with their rugby teams and basketball teams, and any other teams. Well, I had a surprise for him... boy howdy did I ever.

I took one last glance at the art class, and decided on one thing. I must destroy Bev Facey and everything it stands for. Once and for all.

Using my super disco-karate-inferno attack I finally did it. I got rid of that hellhole for good. And to celebrate...

I did a little jig. The end.