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Shufflingdead > Articles > Games
Bill Gates' Head on a Pike!
It would seem at long last that all of the game consoles have been released and the results are starting to come in. The PS2 is still in first due to it's huge head start, giant game library and millions of Eminem/Limp Bizkit/preppy punk bastard drooling fanboys. The X-Box is in second (in the US anyways) due to the Eminem/Limp Bizkit/preppy punk bastards who were paid into thinking the PS2 was for nerds and "HOMO GAY FAGGY FAGOTS." While the Gamecube is in a close third thanks to its so called "kiddy" reputation and Bill Gates' money.
While the Playstation 2 has the slightest possibility of maybe having a few "decent" games, the X-Box has zero. The X-Box's success is solely due to a giant marketing campaign funded by everybody’s favorite billionaire tycoon monopolist, Bill Gates. That is why I have decided something must be done. I used to admire Mr. Gates for his tactics and success but he has finally gone too far. He has invaded the inner sanctum of my unholy religion and has forever scared the video game industry. The mere fact the X-Box exists is a slap in the face to every self respecting gamer on the planet earth. First, Bill Gates' headway into the gaming industry will be reversed and then we will crush his monopoly in the computer operating system business simply for sweet revenge.
Rise, rise up my legion of Nintendo loyalists our time has come! Even the average Playstation fanboys may participate as well since this plague upon our industry affects you as well and has surely already damaged your beloved "PS2" in disastrous, horrific ways. I have devised our initial battle tactics so that we may make a coordinated first attack, from which the chaos that will engulf Bill Gates may arise.
Everytime anyone, anywhere buys the latest copy of "Windows" they are fueling the X-Box plague. Every time you log into your msn messenger account, every time you watch a video in Microsoft media player, every time you use Microsoft internet explorer it's as if you went down to your local department store and purchased a copy of Halo. Now please, take part in the anti-Microsoft movement.
Perhaps Microsofts greatest and most sinister weapon is its propaganda machine. Microsoft has thousands employees all filled with propaganda waiting to pump every unsuspecting vagabond full of pro-Microsoft "information." That is why we must use it against him. We must take up the job of filling all those pathetic preppy punky bastard morons and the families of children (the people who buy the systems for their kids) full of anti-Microsoft material. We must make the nerds remember their history. We cannot let them forget that they have abandoned all of there gamer history in order to play Halo. That is why I have developed a special flyer for you to plaster all over the walls of your school, to shove down the throats of unsuspecting MS customers and to generally spread the word about Microsoft. Do your part! Take down our evil oppressor.
I have worked hard to make this flyer fit onto one page now print it off and spread the word! Once again:
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