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Well, I didn't expect to do a third article in this section but it seems it is required. This is by far the most offensive article I have ever written. You see, some of you are in desperate need of making me hate you. As usual this "puppy" is in three parts.

• Step 1: Pummel me
  If you're looking to make me hate you the first step is most certainly to beat me up. Punch me in the shoulder, stomach or give me a "cheap kidney shot" whenever you feel like it, try to mix it up to keep me on my toes. Once you get bored of punching me feel free to start tackling me and wrestling me to the ground. Because I am a person of smaller stature it should be no problem to get me on the ground and in an extremely painful hold. After that gets tiring be sure to stab me with hot pokers, bite me, kick my "ass" right up the "center". Come into my home at night and cover my floor with glass so that when I wake up in the morning my feet will be shredded. Whatever suits your fancy.
  
  
• Step 2: Talk About How Stupid I am In Front of My Face
  This is probably the most fun part of the whole process. After you've successfully beaten me into a babbling groveling puddle of blood you get to make fun of me! Every time you and another person are in the general proximity of "yours truly" feel free to talk about my lack of intelligence. It doesn't matter if I make a great "intellectual" with a quick wit. Let's say you and a friend are having a discussion, one of you could say "let's ask Newbs" the other one would get to respond "no point, because Newbs is stupid." Or when you and a trusty cohort view a young lady running around screaming the name of a particular male sex organ repeatedly one of you can calmly explain to the other "It's like Newbs. She finds something she likes and repeats it continuously because Newbs is stupid."
  
  
• Step 3: Tell Me What To Do
  Once you've gotten me to severely dislike you there's just one thing left for you to do before I never want to talk to you again. You've got to tell me what to do. You must order me around, you must constantly give me worthless "advice" and insist I take it. You must tell me what movies to see, what games to buy, who to ask out, and most importantly, who not to ask out. Yup, you must tell me I am not good enough for every girl I have any interest in. By all means, insist I am a creepy bastard who doesn't have a hope in hell of going out with anyone under the age of forty or without a massive growth on their neck. Make absolutely sure I don't get to ever talk to someone with any even mildly attractive qualities, let alone ask them out.

As you can probably tell, it is extremely easy to make me hate you. After all, it's not as if I'd like you if you gave me a mild amount of respect, treated me as a human being or at least followed the "golden rule" or anything.

Anyone looking to make me hate you, please follow these simple steps. I am likely to catch on fairly quickly and will most certainly leave you alone so you may discuss computer games, guns, and how stupid I am in peace.