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Shufflingdead > Articles > Humans
Humans
What is this "humans" you speak of you ask? Well, I'll tell you. A human or "people" as they call themselves are a species currently inhabiting just one planet, earth. Humans are primates, they walk upright and seem to be moderately intelligent, though I'm not really sure on the last one. here are a few examples:
The Whore
Lacking in mental capability, whores have no future beyond the age of 25. It is rumored whores are attractive, I would disagree however, I do not enjoy the look of a young lady throwing up after indulging in alcohol and an orgy.
The Preppy Bastard Punk
Another one of these so called "people." they inhabit the earth for 2 reasons. Firstly, to have sex with whores, and secondly to tell me I need to learn how to ride a bike.
The Porn Star
That's right, there is one type of human, mainly of the female gender, who earn a living posing naked so that 16 year old guys with nothing better to do at 2:30 Friday morning can have "fun" all by themselves.
The Nerd: male
Fearing direct sunlight, nerds only come out after dusk. Nerds spend their days looking for glitches in Super Nintendo games and their nights vandalizing Safeway while wearing a "funky" hat.
The Nerd: female
The rarest of all humans, female nerds are worshipped like gods on the "Internet." Unlike male nerds, female nerds work at Safeway, and rarely play Super Nintendo. However, they do wear funky hats.
The Younger Brother/Sister
A human who's life is spent making the nerds life a living hell. The younger brother/sister tends to dislike what ever his/her brother/sister enjoys or takes pleasure in. Younger brothers/sisters always become preppy bastard punks or whores.
The Black Sheep
The black sheep is the pre-evolved form of the nerd. Ranging between the ages of 6 and 12, the black sheep is always accompanied by a large group of bullies. Don't feel sorry for the black sheep though, his career choices range from deranged psychopath to professional l337 h4x0r.
The Bully
Another one of these pre-evolved forms. The bully is the pre-evolved form of the preppy bastard punk. A bully delights in tormenting nerds. Do not dislike the bully, after he's done with bullying and finished having sex with whores he usually dies, at around the age of 30.
There are far more types of humans than this in the world, I'll be sure to explain to you a few more of them at a later time.
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