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Shufflingdead > Articles > ICQ Whore
Why ICQ is Everything I Expected
When I first got the magical messenger, I wasn't sure if what I had heard about such things were true. I mean, I had never met old men who pretended to be girls or anyone who would say things to turn you on in the hopes to masturbate with you. But finally I have discovered these things to be true. I chat with a "female" who is either an old man, a Something Awful goon, trying to make me lose mind, or somebody so horny she is willing to cyber with me. Not only this but she claims to have had 25-30 sexual partners. There is a very good chance that this person:
is just playing with my head but who knows. Just a moment ago she left to go have sex with a girl, I might get some pics but who knows.
here are a few of my favorite clips from our conversations:
Newbius: this is only a test, don't get offended if you were to "give head" would you want the favor returned
JyNxAH-BaBy: i would want to be ate out
Newbius: my test failed.
JyNxAH-BaBy: what do u mean it failed?
Newbius: I thought anybody who answered 'yes' was a 40 year old man but that is not true.
You see, she failed my test, which I believe makes her a guy. Unless it's possible to be that much of a slut.
Newbius:so you and your girlfriend do what together?
JyNxAH-BaBy:we do everything ;p its diffrent when a girl kisses me
Newbius:I bet it is. so do you have any pics of your girlfriend?
JyNxAH-BaBy:i dont have a gf i just fuck around w/ girls
Newbius:ohh, even better. what do you think of porn?
JyNxAH-BaBy:it makes me hot
Newbius:softcore or hardcore?
JyNxAH-BaBy:hardcore
Again, this would lead me to believe it's a 40 year old pervert. Which, by the way, is my destiny to become.
Newbius:hey, I run my own site, want to see a picture of me?
JyNxAH-BaBy:sure
Newbius:k, [Insert goatse url here] tell me what you think!
JyNxAH-BaBy:lol sexy
Newbius:wtf. can you describe the picture of me?
JyNxAH-BaBy:ripping your ass apart....?
Newbius:I know people who have thrown up the first time they saw that picture. are you a Something Awful goon?
JyNxAH-BaBy:what do u mean am i from some where awful?
Well, judging by that last comment, she is actually an SA goon and is simply messing with me. I don't know of anyone who didn't think that picture was disgusting, many say it's the most disturbing thing they've ever seen but she thought it was funny!
I'm sure that you've guessed by now that I don't mind chatting with this person. Whoever this person is, they remind my of why I am afraid of everyone. If I only knew what they really are; a dirty old man, a slut, an SA goon or just a regular girl playing with my mind. I will admit that no matter what, they are attempting to play with my mind. Have no fear, I am too strong for that, I'm just having a little fun with them, whoever they are.
I would like to know what you think, please answer my new survey and feel free to e-mail me me with comments and suggestions. If you like, you can send in questions you want me to ask this girl. I'll update this section regularly because it's too weird not to.
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