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As some of my more stalker-like readers may know, I take the bus to school. Not one of those gimpy yellow buses but a county bus designated for taking adolescents to school. Bet you didn't know that Mr. "Newbs is exactly 5 feet 7.5438 inches tall." I have descended from the heavens to compile a list of the characters you will likely encounter taking my bus:

• Eight year old kid who thinks he needs to tell the bus driver what route to take
  The poor child has difficulty believing the bus driver knows how to drive, as he is constantly reminding the driver what direction to go. The eternal six year old of the busing world is likely to enhance your trip with comments such as "Charlie's Angels is the greatest movie ever!" and "Stone Cold Steve Austin could beat up your dad."
  
  
• Really tall nerd with even taller afro
  This poor fellow, no matter how much of a nerd you are, will always be more of a nerd then you are. I feel sorry for the guy though, he's behind the times and will show this in a few random comments he's likely to make: "all your base are belong to us" and perhaps even "I own a PS2."
  
  
• Ridiculously hot female #1 - Red head with bubble gum
  The ridiculously hot red head is a rare species indeed. This is so, simply because I once managed to talk to her. I recommend staying away from her though, since she is a red head and I own her.
  
  
• Fat loud punk female
  The fat loud punk female comes pre packaged with a repulsive nickname just to show off how a horrible a creature it really is. Often these nicknames will be of various insect types such as: Slug, Roach, or even Giant Bug of Death and Destruction. This lovely addition to the mix is guaranteed to be heard by you, no matter where you sit on the bus. Don't worry though, you'll hear such things as "I have 83 holes in my left ear" and "I hope you enjoyed the clay I shoved down your shirt in grade 10 art class."
  
  
• Ridiculously hot female #2 - Blonde with bad rap music
  The ridiculously hot blonde will sit beside you on the bus every single morning, rub up against you and generally make it her life to make you want her. The only trouble is you can never talk to her, as she is always listening to obnoxious rap music.
  
  
• Prep who's car was destroyed in freak missile attack
  The fact he never had a car in the first place is a dead giveaway to the truth; he deserves a slow and painful, erm... bus ride.
  
  
• Old woman who thinks she's 17
  The old woman gets on the bus, claiming to have lost her retirement home to alien invaders. She then tells the driver she would like to go to the largest shopping centre in your home town and wander aimlessly for hours. As she is old, the driver is required to take her to her requested destination before following his usual route and taking you home.
  
  
• The driver himself
  This obelisk of modern society stands as the last stand against anarchy and chaos in our world. The bus driver will come to work despite wind, sleet, snow, mental disease, and job loss. You can always count on the bus driver to get you to your desired destination, know matter how many pedestrians die (after all, pedestrians are inferior, and are all pedophiles)
  
  

Taking the bus is thoroughly enjoyed by millions every day. In any classroom you may be in there is a possibility 100% of the people there take the bus. As a human being the only thing I would even be remotely afraid of on the bus is sitting next to me. I am an attention whore and will likely do anything including removing my pants to get your attention. If you are an attractive female I recommend not taking my bus, any bus, or going out in public at all out of fear of encountering me.