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Shufflingdead > E-mails
Of newbs.tk and Sexual Origami
Send in advice, complaints, random strings of characters, or whatever. Send me an e-mail. I'll post and respond to it.
E-mail me!
[C DAWG]
Subject: i wish i was cool enough to be a nerd. Date: August 29, 2002
newbs, this is my third time to your web site i don't get on the net much these days) and i absolutly love it!!! you are fricking hilarious.
keep up the good work and for petes sake update the damn thing!!
yours truly, [C DAWG]
Newbs' Response: Dear C DAWG,
Your hard earned gratitude is much appreciated. I understand your frustration with the lack of updates though, and your email has prompted me to make an announcement. Any ladies who happen to be emailing me, and who want more updates to the site, should enclose erotic photographs of themselves. This step will speed the updating process by reducing the amount of time I have to spend scouring the internet for wank material before writing.
[Craig]
Subject: newbs.tk Date: July 10, 2003
when will you disable your account as you are moving your site.
i would like to take the domain over.
Thanks - Craig
Newbs' Response: When I first received this email, I thought to myself "you know, maybe I shouldn't be a bastard and just give him the domain." Then I though, "or maybe I could horde it for awhile and eventually try to sell it on ebay." Well in the end I thought I'd try the cautious approach and replied to his email with:
"Hi
Sorry it took me so long to get back to you, I got your email just as I was going away for awhile and I kind of lost track of it.
So are you still interested in the domain? What were you looking to do with it?"
His reply follows.
[Craig]
Subject: Re: newbs.tk Date: August 21, 2003
i am planning to make a personal/portal site. i would like to use newbs.tk as newbs is my nickname - thanks - Craig
Newbs' Response: Son of a bitch! Hearing this dreadful news threw me into fits of rage. Why, there is but one Newbs, and he does not share power. "Craig" still awaits a reply from me, a reply he shall never receive.
[Ryan]
Subject: Re: I summon thee! Date: August 6, 2003
origami as a sexual art form
Newbs' Response: I spent a good half hour attempting to follow the diagrams on a website to create a crane out of paper with no success. How do you expect me to fold myself into a crane?
[Ryan]
Subject: For yours or public enjoyment Date: August 6, 2003
Ryan's Erotic Moment of the Week
Next time you walk past the flower shop in the grocery store grab all the
carnations you can find, rip off their petals and throw the petals into a
pile. Then do whatever is necessary to get your feet bare and step on top of
the pile. You will find that the silky feeling of the petals on your feet is
very sensual. I certainly enjoyed it!
Newbs' Response: I think this email speaks for itself.
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