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Shufflingdead > E-mails
Newbs' E-mails
Send in advice, complaints, random strings of characters, or whatever. Send me an e-mail. I'll post and respond to it.
E-mail me!
[Da Lynnster]
Subject: You DON'T Wanna Know... Date: July 21, 2002 12:03 AM
Richard: I'm sorry you had to see this. Jen and Kenny KNOW you would
appreciate this kind of art work. My apologies.
Kenny and Sniper: We knew you would want to see this. FYI, his website is
www.newbs.tk
Ian: We think this is something to shave your ass to.
Nicole and Renee: WE KNOW YOU LIKE IT.
Curtis: And to think, you're FRIENDS with these people. Lord only knows
what happens when you guys all get drunk....*shudder*.
Newbs Response:
The text in this email seems to be a random collection of "shout outz" ala every website hosted by Angelfire, so we'll ignore that part and just pretend they didn't mention anyone shaving their ass hair. However, the image contained within is pure magic. An incredible life like rendering of my wildest fantasy. Oh, to be a giant floating head running around licking the black background which surrounds my friends!
[Jen]
Subject : Cracker Ass MoFo Date : July 20, 2002 11:22 PM
Dear Newbs,
Jen and I (Lynn/Lemon/SmokinHotti456) have now truly realized what a disturbing young man you are. Describing Trevor 'Choking the Chicken' is just not good. I know it turns you on, but c'mon, think of the children for the love of god! I am, however, very flattered as to how you describe me, but you know that that's not where my tatoo is. AND, I signed a strict confidentiality agreement that my pictures would not be published on the internet without payment, or my proper consent. To quote Peter Pantless, 'I am not amused'. BTW, if you think you are any bit as good as Steve *grin*, you better practice with Dmuser to get any where as good as Steve is. Further message/enticing pictures will be sent at a later date. Peace out Mofo.
J to the H-O
SmokinHotti
Newbs Response:
My reply to this email might just break down "three-fold."
Obviously, since I was describing Dmuser's masturbatory habits, he feels that he is too good for me and prefers his hand to my sweet, and unfortunately lacking ass, and so, much to my dismay, I can't practice with him.
Secondly, who the fuck is Steve?
Lastly, I would like to say that the image I used to represent you, was surprisingly, not you. Nay, ‘twas an image of famed porn star Jenna Jameson, cleverly altered with some touch ups in Microsoft Paint and Adobe's infamous Photoshop.
I will now take this time to thank you for the email, I've not seen one of these in a fair while.
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