State of the Union Address
Legend tells of a site updated once and occasionally twice a week, but that was when I stayed up three hours later than everybody else I knew, unfortunately they're all followers and stay up until ungodly late times so I don't have a huge block of spare time on my weekends to update anymore. However, I have all afternoon to allow my fingers to peruse my keyboard for keys and for them to find characters which can be strung together into words of English. So I offer you a deal, I'll put a new article up every Friday starting this very week and all you have to do is provide me with a dose of oral sex (page removed).
The next order of business is Cockwars. Now, last week Stay Puft hammered the competition, however the vote total was a tenth of what it was previous weeks which means you guys are getting as sick of this thing as I am, and so next week I'm going to start combining polls.
Finally, we have Mr./Ms./Mrs. X, who you've never heard of. This is a person who is attempting a little experiment, and wish to document their findings. The big X's section will be updated fairly randomly so I'm going to do those updates the way I do emails. The person who puts the 'X' in 'XXX''s section can be found here (page removed).
October 20, 2002
Once again, everybody’s favorite fake person, Steve, has once again proven his wang’s power by destroying the man of steel and capturing a spot in the finals.
This week we have contestants which are supposedly Dmuser's.
October 19, 2002
Now for some random stuff.
I have updated my playlist, although I'm probably the only one who cares, and only because I like to brag. Since the last time I updated it I downloaded about 200 new songs, then went through everything and got the total back down to 1337, which means a lot of the truly awful stuff is gone.
All the oral sex I've gotten since last time I said:
Renee - 99
Jesus Christ - 99
Lynn - 99
Phyllis Baldwin - 99
Jennifer - 69
Inseminator - 1
Uhm... yay? All I know is that I haven't gotten any in awhile and damn will I need it soon.
Chances are I'm going to have a lot more free time on my "hands" shortly and will therefore be updating as much as I should be. There will also be a new special feature brought to you by a mysterious human on a topic which will be revealed to you shortly. Come back tomorrow when I’ll have my weekly article up as well as the next Cockwars poll.
ps. I need Dmuser's Cockwars entries, feel free to harass him.
October 13, 2002
Since my apprentice, DMUSER, hasn't come up with his Cockwars nominees yet, I went ahead and put up a the poll for the champions of the Newbs/Lemon divisions. I suspect this round will be fierce and only those with the most incredible spamming skills will make it through as the winner of this poll moves onto the final two!
In a depressing upset some random guy called Steve actually beat Santa Claus this week, what happened to childhood memories here guys!
Galleries:
I am the evil super villain Newbius Maximus, up until recently I was head of the Russian mob and made billions of dollars from illegally running a cheap ass satire website.
Full Article >>
October 11, 2002
|
October 10, 2002
Yup, this would be Newbs' Knowledge of Life, the Universe and Everything, version 6! It's all compact and stuff.
October 6, 2002
New poll, rejoice!
After a long and valiant battle, Mr. Diesel beat out the competitors and one a spot in the second round. Yay for spamming!
I would have an update tonight but I got Starfox Adventure’s, later this week, for real this time, I promise.
October 4, 2002
After I promised it would come (months ago) and very much cutting and pasting of chunks of HTML from files scattered all over my computer, I've finally got phase 2 finished. What that means is that there’s a thing at the bottom of this page which lets you look at all the old updates as well as automatically go to the top of the main page.
