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Shufflingdead > Things of the Week > Open Letters to Celebrities
Jeri Ryan
Dear Jeri Ryan,
You played Seven of Nine in Star Trek: Voyager. The role was preposterous, you had to wear the most absurdly tight costume of all time and yet act like you were dressed at about the same level of business casual as everybody else.
In my opinion, the costume was so over the top, it would have been far hotter if you had worn the proper Starfleet uniform. This actually ties into a fantasy I've been kicking around that I thought you might be curious to hear. It directly involves me, role playing a strong and perpetually angry Starfleet captain, disciplining a shy, confused ensign. This would of course escalate into a wild sexual romp, where I teach the ensign how to, as Cartman would say, "respect my authority." This doesn't necessarily involve you of course; I just thought you might be interested to hear about it.
Anyway, I just wanted to see how you were doing. I know you got divorced awhile ago, must be tough. I myself have never been divorced, I'm not married either. Actually, I've been pretty single most of my life. Have you ever considered hooking up with a Trekkie? Not necessarily me, again, but you know, like a big raging nerd. I think that would really give hope to us all.
Efficiently yours,
Newbs
ps. The Last Man was awesome.
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