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Shufflingdead > Things of the Week > Open Letters to Fictional Characters
Chief Miles Edward O'Brien
Dear Chief Miles Edward O'Brien,
I've never written to a fictional character before, it only makes sense that you would be my first. You see, I don't know if you're aware of this, but you blow the fucking lid off awesome. Seriously man, you bang your hot wife, you let Bajoran bitches carry your children, and every season you get completely screwed over, but somehow always come out better for it.
You've been around the block. You fought in the Federation-Cardassian War, you served aboard the flagship of The United Federation of Planets, the motherfucking Enterprise, and you served as Chief of Operations on Deep Space Nine during some of the most historic moments in Federation history. I don't mean to just sit here and list accomplishments, but there are just so goddamn many.
I know it might seem like I know about you, but you actually remain a bit of a mystery. For example, just what the fuck is your rank? Aboard the Enterprise you wore two pips, just like any Lieutenant, and apparently they even referred to you as such at some point. In DS9 they try to make it clear that you're a non-commissioned officer, but you seem to tell a lot of people what to do and do more work than anybody else, so why not just get a field commission? You'd be running that place the second Sisko gave himself a heart attack from yelling at the door for being too flat.
Kayakingly yours,
Newbs
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